our lives are lace

made of looping, twisting thread,
we are knitted patterns
carefully planned.
the details rarely seen
are created all by hand.

oh, what is this.

so intense, these fences in my head. keeping thoughts unwanted in and keeping out what i've been missing. oh, how the chain link wraps around the parking lot, the tired ground. neon signs illuminating that there are no vacant rooms remaining in this Motel 6 of a brain. all my theories, feelings, views are reruns in the news, and i can't seem to change the channel. i've lost the remote, so these notions keep on going, rolling round and round. my dreams go up and down, in and out of memories. of felonies commited against my life, which is still yours by the way. which way, which way is there to go? no direction makes sense when all i want is fun. if only i could have one: fun or fair. either is better than what i've chosen, this lonesome lie that i'm doing just fine on my own. you don't own me, i've been told. yet you bought me, i know. but anyway, i'll leave it here, my mess of words for all to hear and i—i think i'm going to jump over the chain link fence now, and escape this place that i've come to somehow.

color & life

a flash of color,
a new life starts.
my heart moves fast now
underneath the stars
as i sit here wondering
how this came to be
and how you're changing me.
crazy to think how blind i once was,
crazy to know now your life is enough,
enough to keep me breathing deeply in and softly out.
my doubts of you are gone and i think i'm quite ready now.
ready to jump off this cliff of fear and face your truth.
im ready to be free of these chains i hold on to.
here i go
into life,
into colors bright.