fear.

sometimes

i fear people will not see in me a deep ocean, 

but instead a shallow stream. 

a stream that runs too fast 

with slippery rocks underneath,

or one that drifts slowly 

with cutting stones at the bottom.

sometimes

i fear people will not see in me a brilliant flame, 

but instead a heap of ashes.

ashes that are taken 

by the wind's every direction,

or a heap that is looked down 

at with sorrow and disgrace.

sometimes

i fear people will not see in me a grown woman, 

but instead a foolish girl.

a girl who is all too common 

with no wisdom to speak,

or one who is unstable 

and trusts only what she can see.

sometimes 

i fear these things and they long to claim my life, 

but i also fear a God who loves me.

a God whose love shines through the depths of my heart.

a God who brings my shallow sin into the light.

a God whose love ignites the ruins of my spirit.

a God who does not burn out or drift away.

a God whose love gives wisdom and restores my trust.

a God who has saved me from my fears.