October 8, 2007

Was I just not aware before, or is there a new war within me? I thought I was getting over it, but it's back. I miss it. I want it back. But I know I can't. I just can't give in. 

No. I won't.

Everyone has a song. Everyone is living in their own music videos. Only, it's a secret. They keep all the things they want to say inside. But inside is screaming. Screaming so loud you can't even hear it.

So many people. So many stories.

And yet I know not one of them.

I don't want to write, and yet I am.

I'm scared and yet I press on.

So many things are out of my control,

but I just...

I want to feel like I have some sort of control.

Replace me.

Go ahead, do it.

Leave me.

Blurry—everything is blurry through my eyes.

I hold in the water though... the salty water in my tears.

I'm dehydrated. I need them.

And besides,

I can't give you my vulnerability.

Ask me to stop and I will.

Just hold out your arms so I can't pass through.

Tell me it's no use.